May is for Mothers Paws Up for These Amazing Alumnae Moms!

What’s the greatest thing about being a mom? “Experiencing the world through their eyes,” says Ami Garvin. For Sarah Buckley, it’s unconditional love, and “being someone’s favorite person.” Judy Crum ’59 has kids and grandkids, now, but still prizes the time spent with family more than anything else. “I am fortunate that both of my daughters and a niece all live very close, so I get to see both of their families very often, and I love every minute of it,” she says.

Just as every educational journey is unique, so is every parent’s. In honor of Mother’s Day, we asked three alumnae to share how their Chapman experience has helped them conquer the challenges of motherhood in this special Panther Spotlight.

Ami (Custodia) Garvin ’98 (M. Ed. ’08)

“We met Aiden and Bella at ages 6 and 3. They had been in the foster system for much of their lives; we were their seventh (and final) home. We went into the adoption process thinking we would adopt a single infant, but as we learned more, we became more open. There are half a million kids in foster care in the U.S., many of them older than five, and many of them get separated from their siblings along the way. We were fortunate to keep Aiden and Bella together. Our family was built by adoption and we couldn’t have done any of it without our adoption agency, SENECA.”

What are the names and ages of your child(ren)? 
Aiden (11) and Bella (8).

Are there any lessons you learned at Chapman that have helped you to be a better mom?
Stay involved and practice your listening skills. 

What are some challenges you face with being a mom?
Patience. Knowing that once you think you’ve got a handle on everything, the kids grow up and change and you have to figure out what works at every new stage of their development. 

 What is the greatest thing about being a mom?
Experiencing the world through their eyes, especially firsts. I’ll never forget the time Bella and Aiden went on their first roller coaster. The fear and the exhilaration was a metaphor for parenting.

 If your child(ren) had to describe you in one word, what would it be?
Crafty.

Who was the most influential person for you at Chapman? Why?
Professor John Koshak. He created a family-like environment that fostered camaraderie while still holding each member accountable for the impact they had on the ensemble.

 If you could go back in time and experience one moment again from your time at Chapman, what would it be?  Is there anything that you would do differently?
Hearing our music echo through a church in Prague during our Orchestra tour of Europe. It was a life-changing, unforgettable experience.

What do you wish you knew at the time of your graduation (about life, career, family, best place for tacos, etc.) that you know now?  What advice can you give to the students and/or recent graduates of today?
The importance of managing your finances. Use this time to find your passion because you will likely change careers many times during your life. Stay coachable and don’t get bogged down in routine.

How did Chapman prepare you for your career?  How did your experience prepare you for the real world?
I had great professors who were always available for advice as I began my career. 

What were the most challenging social/societal issue in our country/world that you faced as a young college student?  What was your perspective or how did you get involved? 
Being the American-born child of Filipino immigrants, I found navigating college dorm life challenging. Growing up, the only silverware we had were big spoons. I had to learn by watching my peers how to eat with a knife and fork. Side note: the cafeteria needs more big spoons! Since my time at Chapman, I’ve learned how to code-switch and adapt to different social/cultural situations.

Sarah Buckley ’14 

“My son was diagnosed with Autism in July 2020, at the age of 2. He is non-verbal and has trouble with motor planning. We were not totally surprised because starting at 18 months we started speech therapy because of his speech delay, but this was still very hard to hear. As someone who did not know much about autism, my mind jumped to all the hardships Finn would endure and all the things he wouldn’t be able to do or experience. Through it all I try to stay optimistic because Finn is still young and has so much growing to do. He has already made so much progress through his therapy.  

 “I am extremely grateful for my Chapman Family during this time. Once Finn received a diagnosis and I started sharing it with people I knew across Chapman, I learned about several other co-workers and faculty that have children with autism. They have been invaluable in helping guide me when I was lost and were there to answer any questions I had. It is also so nice to see the Fowler School of Engineering faculty working on developing assistive technology for individuals with special needs. It gives me hope that Finn will still have an amazing life where he can thrive and be the brilliant kid I know he is.”

What are the names and ages of your child(ren)?
Finn (Age 3 ½).

Are there any lessons you learned at Chapman that have helped you to be a better Mom?
Specifically in communications, I learned about different cultures and how to communicate with people who have an opposite viewpoint. Everyone is going to have an opinion and all you can do is your best and be nice to people.

What are some challenges you face with being a Mom?
My son was diagnosed with a speech delay at 18 months and then with Autism at 2. Finn has had extensive therapy sessions and currently has therapy 6 days a week and has recently started an early intervention school program. As a single mom who works full-time and is currently pursuing her masters degree, this makes my schedule absolutely crazy. Balancing it all is the most challenging, but I am thankful for my incredible family and Chapman family for their support as I navigate this new normal. When you find out your kid has a developmental delay, it’s hard not to blame yourself and think of all the things you could do better.  

What is the greatest thing about being a Mom?
Being someone’s favorite person and the unconditional love. Before Finn’s diagnosis, I perceived people with Autism to be antisocial and not affectionate. Finn is actually the opposite. He is constantly hugging me and giving me kisses. It’s the best feeling in the world. Finn might not be able to verbally tell me he loves me, but he shows me all the time. Finn has taught me that love really needs no words.

If your child(ren) had to describe you in one word, what would it be?
If Finn could talk I think he would say I’m “cozy,” because we often spend time cuddling and holding each other after a long busy day. I am his safe place for him when he is feeling overwhelmed.

Who was the most influential person for you at Chapman? Why?
his is a weird chain reaction, but I connect all the blessings in my life to the one moment I was hired as a Student Assistant for the Office of Admission. Armen Sarkisian, one of the directors hired me. This led to me meeting my best friend Amy, who introduced me to my other best friend Megan. We all became roommates. Megan introduced me to my son’s father. So in a weird way my son Finn wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Armen hiring me all those years ago. The Office of Admission was also where I gained so many professional skills which led to me eventually working at Chapman. I’m forever grateful to Armen for the opportunity he gave me as a sophomore. 

If you could go back in time and experience one moment again from your time at Chapman, what would it be?  Is there anything that you would do differently?
I have so many fond memories from undergrad, but what I always wish I could relive was all the senior festivities in the last month of college. Senior Week, sorority senior spoils, President’s Toast, etc. It was all ending, and I was constantly fitting in all the quality time with friends. Once college is over everyone parts ways and I truly miss so many people. 

What do you wish you knew at the time of your graduation (about life, career, family, best place for tacos, etc.) that you know now?  What advice can you give to the students and/or recent graduates of today?
My advice is that you don’t have to figure it all out right now. Looking back, I was in such a rush to get a full-time job right after graduation because I thought that’s what I needed to do. I wish I would have explored industries more. Maybe did one more internship before jumping into a full-time job. Internships are such a great opportunity to explore different industries and roles. I only did two internships during my time at Chapman and I regret not doing more. 

How did Chapman prepare you for your career?  How did your experience prepare you for the real world?
The Office of Admission was a great job on campus and I feel that I learned a lot of my office etiquette from that experience. I do remember distinctly taking a Business Communications course with Dr. Waldeck which helped tremendously with learning proper email communication and giving business presentations. Overall, my communications major helped me learn to communicate with everyone. One thing that you will have to do in any industry is communicate, so having excellent communication skills will always help you to excel in your career. Chapman also taught me the power of connections. All of my jobs have been because of a connection I made through Chapman. So always make sure to treat people with respect and now with LinkedIn and other social platforms it is so easy to keep in touch with people you have worked with. 

What were the most challenging social/societal issue in our country/world that you faced as a young college student?  What was your perspective or how did you get involved?
I was not very involved politically as a college student and there was not necessarily pressure to engage in political conversations. Now as an employee at Chapman, it has been amazing to see students become increasingly more involved and pushing to address societal issues. I am continuously impressed by our students and their passion to make Chapman and the world a better place for everyone. They have definitely inspired me to become more educated on issues and be more involved now. 

Judy (Kirk) Crum ’59

Judy Crum with her kids and grandkids

“My husband was in the class of ’59. We were married and were ready to begin our careers as teachers, so I took classes so that I could also graduate in ’59 with him, but I claim to belong to the class of ’60, too. My daughter and her husband, Ron Pollard, met at Chapman and both graduated from Chapman. Ron’s parents, Ed and Beth Pollard, and his siblings graduated from Chapman. My grandsons Johnathan and Stephen Pollard graduated from Chapman. Stephen’s girlfriend, Colleen Costello, was at Chapman when he attended there. My Mother received an honorary Doctorate from Chapman in 1972. She was a College Dean in Phoenix and Mesa. I have lived in my hundred year old home, just one block from Chapman, for 58 years.”

What are the names and ages of your child(ren)? 
Stephanie Crum and Kathleen Peterson, both in their 50’s. Stephanie is a Chapman Alumni.

Are there any lessons you learned at Chapman that have helped you to be a better mom.
I am not sure if there were lessons I learned at Chapman that helped me become a better mom or grandma. Maybe a love of education and exploring, and these experiences helped me to guide them as they discovered themselves and their life choices.

What is the greatest thing about being a Mom?
The greatest thing about being a mom/grandma is my love of family and all our time together. I am fortunate that both of my daughters and a niece all live very close, so I get to see both of their families very often, and I love every minute of it.

If your child(ren) had to describe you in one word, what would it be?
I hope proud or caring because I am proud of all of them, and care for them very much. All of them are wonderful successful adults.

Who was the most influential person for you at Chapman? Why? 
Chaplain Willard Learned was my most influential person at Chapman. I was his secretary for the three years I was at Chapman. We were on Single Subject, so I had a student job and worked from one to four or five each day. He was my mentor, and a friend. He took my husband, Jim, and me under his wing and guided us along the way. 

The other influential person was Mrs. Barbree, the head of the food and cafeteria. Jim worked for her, and I went in every evening until he got off, and helped her with ordering and keeping books for her. Again, she guided and supported us.

I also need to add Jane Perkins. I had a Campus Club Scholarship, along with two others. She shepherded  us in all Campus Club activities, and basically all our campus life. We kept in touch up to her end. Beautiful woman.

If you could go back in time and experience one moment again from your time at Chapman, what would it be?  Is there anything that you would do differently? 
I would not do anything differently. I loved being a student at Chapman. I have many memorable moments and remained true friends with my peers.

What do you wish you knew at the time of your graduation (about life, career, family, best place for tacos, etc.) that you know now?  What advice can you give to the students and/or recent graduates of today? 
I am happy with what I knew then and now. Advice: Choose a career and activities that you truly enjoy doing every day, and give it your all. Be true to yourself.

How did Chapman prepare you for your career?  How did your experience prepare you for the real world?
Interestingly enough, I prepared to teach Home Economics, but I ended up teaching 6-9th grade instead. I had not taken education classes until the summer before I started teaching 6th grade in 1969 and had no student teacher experience. When I interviewed with Mr. Kibby for OUSD he asked if I had done student teaching in Home Economics, and when I said no student teaching at all, he hired me for 6th grade.

What were the most challenging social/societal issues in our country/world that you faced as a young college student?  What was your perspective or how did you get involved? 
When my husband (my boyfriend at the time) and I came to Chapman from Campbell Avenue Christian Church in Phoenix, we had not experienced in our sheltered lives racial prejudice. One of the first things we were told is that there were no Black people in the City of Orange. We had two Black students at Chapman, and they were not welcome on the streets in the city limits. That was appalling to me. I really did not personally know them, but I was aware of the situation.