The Story within the Story

By the author, Jim Doti

The reader now knows that Jimmy is afraid of school.  In the next two pages (pages 5-6), I need to give a vivid example of why Jimmy is so fearful of school.  I’ll do that by introducing a classmate that ridicules him.  I also need to set the stage for the basic plot, namely the student play that Jimmy will appear in:  “The Elves and the Shoemaker.”

To do that, I will have Jimmy’s teacher, Mrs. Lyons (actual name of Jimmy’s first grade teacher) tell the story to the class.  This is the story within the story.  I hate to use such a complicated plot structure in a children’s book, but I feel it’s necessary in order for the reader to understand the student play that will be more fully described later in the book.

Before starting to write the story within the story, I read several versions of “The Elves and the Shoemaker.”  They are all different in various ways (even the title is sometimes shown as “The Shoemaker and the Elves.”), but all involve the same basic plot of elves that sneak into the shoemaker’s home at night to escape from the cold.  As a favor to the shoemaker, the elves sew shoes for him.

Since I actually appeared in the play, I want to incorporate the one line I still remember from my performance as an elf as a first grader.  That line was, “Now that’s a good idea.”  So I made a point of including that line several times in the story that Mrs. Lyons reads to the students.

What follows is my description of Jimmy’s arrival in the classroom, followed by Mrs. Lyons telling the story of “The Elves and the Shoemaker.” 

Jimmy goes to his locker.  The metal door squeaks as he yanks it open.  He takes off his hat, scarf and heavy winter coat and shoves them all inside.  He bends down to peel off his tight, rubber galoshes and puts them in, too.

Mrs. Lyons greets him in the hallway outside the classroom. “Good morning, James,” she says cheerfully.

“Goob morning,” Jimmy replies. 

Knowing he said “goob” and not “good” makes Jimmy feel even sadder.  He lowers his head and silently walks into the classroom and sits down at his desk.  His friend Mary Brocco is already seated at the desk next to him. Johnny plops down noisily at the desk behind him.

“Ha!  Jimmy doesn’t know how to say ‘Good morning,’” Johnny shouts out to Mary.

Mary doesn’t like it when the other kids make fun of Jimmy, so she gives Johnny a hard and mean-looking stare.

Today Mrs. Lyons wears a black dress and black shoes that match her short, black hair.  As she walks to the front of the class, Jimmy notices the string of white pearls that Mrs. Lyons always wears around her neck.

“Well, girls and boys,” Mrs. Lyons says, “I have a surprise for you.  We are going to perform a student play on the stage of the assembly hall.  Your family and friends can all come to see it.  The play is called ‘The Elves and the Shoemaker.’”

“It’s based on a fairy tale that was written more than 100 years ago by the Brothers Grimm.  You know some of the stories they wrote, like “Snow White,” “Hansel and Gretel,” “Rapunzel” and “Cinderella.” 

“‘The Elves and the Shoemaker’ is about a shoemaker and his wife who lived a long time ago in a far-away village.  One cold and snowy day, the shoemaker wearily cut leather to make a pair of shoes.  By the time all the pieces for the shoes were cut, he was too tired to sew them together.  So he and his wife ate their soup and went to bed.”

Opening her eyes wider and wider, Mrs. Lyons goes on with the story, “That night, four little elves with long, pointy ears, wearing no shoes and ragged clothes, silently crawled through the window of the shoemaker’s shop.  They were so cold, the first thing they did was to huddle and warm-up around the still hot, glowing embers of the stove.”

Mrs. Lyons reads from the book that she’s been holding in her hands:

“This place feels so warm and cozy,” said one of the elves.

“If we stay here tonight and come back again, we must do something nice in return,” said another one of the elves.

“I have an idea.  Let’s help the shoemaker by finishing the shoes he’s making,” said another elf.

“Now that’s a good idea,” said the littlest elf.

“And that’s what they did.”

Mrs. Lyons continues, “The next morning the shoemaker and his wife woke up to find the leather pieces sewn together into a beautiful pair of shoes.  They wondered if the shoes were made by some sort of magic.  But magic or not, they were very pleased.”

“The shoemaker went to work cutting the leather for another pair of shoes.  When he was done, he was tired, and it was too late to sew the leather together.   So he and his wife ate their soup and then trudged up the steps to their bedroom.”

“What do you think happens next?” Mrs. Lyons asks the class.

Mary Brocco raises her hand and says, “I bet the elves sneak into the shoemaker’s shop again to get warm and sew another pair of shoes.”

“That’s right, Mary,” Mrs. Lyons replies.  “And they go back the next night and the next night, getting all warm and cozy while sewing the shoes for the shoemaker.”

“By that time, though, the shoemaker and his wife began to suspect that the shoes were not being made by magic,” explains Mrs. Lyons. 

“Let’s hide behind the door tonight and peek out to see what’s going on,” said the shoemaker’s wife. “Now that’s a good idea,” said the shoemaker.

“That evening, the shoemaker and his wife were astonished to see the four little barefoot elves crawl through the window.  They watched all night as the elves warmed-up by the stove and then went to work at sewing the shoes.  Just before sunrise, the shoes were finished and the elves crawled back out of the window.”

“So that explains the mystery,” said the shoemaker’s wife.

“Oh, we must do something for those hardworking elves,” replied the shoemaker.

“I have an idea,” said the wife.  “I’ll make new warm clothes for them, and you can make them shoes. I’ll  even bake them some of my special meat pies.”

“Now that’s a good idea,” said the shoemaker.

The smile on Mrs. Lyons’ face gets bigger and bigger as she continues the story.  “The next night the elves entered the shop shivering from the cold outside.  Instead of pieces of leather waiting for them, they found new clothes, shoes and piping-hot meat pies.  The shoemaker and his wife jumped out from behind the door.”

The wife said, “We’re sorry for hiding, but we saw you sew the shoes last night.  In return for your hard work, we made you new clothes and shoes.  And I baked my special meat pies for you.”

The elves devoured the meat pies and happily dressed up in their new clothes and shoes.

“Oh, these clothes and shoes are so warm and cozy,” said an elf.

“Oh, these meat pies are so yummy,” said another.

Then the shoemaker said, “I have an idea.  Why don’t you come every night?  I will leave the cut leather for you to sew the shoes.  In return for your hard work, we will mend your shoes and clothes and make sure we always have hot and juicy meat pies waiting for you.”

“Now that’s a good idea,” said the littlest of the elves.

Then the elves all joined in a circle, happily dancing and singing:

“We love to sing our song
 as we sew shoes all night long.
Putting meat pies in our tummy
 that taste so warm and yummy.”

Several points:  I’m obviously not gifted as a poet, so I may have to rework the above song.  The rhymes work, but somehow it doesn’t sound right to me.  I’ll have to give more thought to that.

A more important problem in my mind is the story within a story.  I suspect the reader will be confused by the narration.  When are the characters in the story speaking lines and when is it Mrs. Lyons?  Obviously, Mrs. Lyons is the conduit for the narration, but I need to make clear when Mrs. Lyons is speaking to the class and when she is relating the story.  I also need to be clear about whose voice is speaking.  Is it, for example, Mrs. Lyons or is it the characters in the story that are being quoted?  As can be seen, I used italics for the speaking parts of characters and non-italic quote marks for when Mrs. Lyons is speaking.  I’m not sure that works, but I’ll wait for the editor to give me advice/guidance on that.

For now, I need to plow on and bring the story back to the classroom.  I’ll do that in my next post.