Revisiting the Title

By the author, Jim Doti 

In her cover letter to me, Marna expressed another concern:

You might consider changing the title or possibly adding a subtitle. Jimmy the Elf doesn’t really convey the book’s content, and it might be mistaken for a Christmas story (I’m thinking that Santa and his elves would be the first thought when children see the word “elf”).

It’s funny about things like a title.  After a while, it grows on you.  So Marna’s concern hit me like a thunderbolt.  Jimmy the Elf was the perfect title.  Wasn’t it?  Evidently not, and the more I thought about Marna’s concern, the more I realized she was right.

That meant it was back to the drawing board.  Translate that to me asking my wife, Lynne, and my associate, Ann Cameron, for ideas.  The only thing I could think of was to somehow include the word “adventure” in the title.  That would help make a connection between this book and my last – A Christmas Adventure in Little Italy.  Other than that, I drew a blank.  But some words, like “Jimmy” and “stage,” kept appearing in the various suggested titles that were popping up.  It took a while, but we finally settled on Jimmy’s Adventure on Stage.

This new title, just like Jimmy the Elf, began to grow on me until it, too, seemed perfect.  It did, that is, until an editor from our publisher, Mill City Press, submitted her assessment of the book.

On the whole, her comments were very positive.  Best of all, we were approved for the Jobberwocky Books Imprint!  (See “Time for Editing,” April 20.)  Her opening paragraph was a joy to read:

Fans of the successful A Christmas Adventure in Little Italy are undoubtedly eager for the return of Jimmy, and they will not be disappointed with this, his journey to achieve self-confidence. As with the previous book, you strike the perfect tone in your note to the reader, speaking directly to the child while giving the parents a strong sense of the value you offer them, too. That is a difficult balance to strike, but you’ve managed it expertly.   . . . I have no doubt that the quality of Lisa’s illustrations will mirror her work in A Christmas Adventure; everyone here at Mill City is eager to see the book in its final form.

But then she got down to brass tacks and pointed to some problems.  Among them was the title.  She correctly noticed that only a small part of the story actually takes place on stage.  More important, in her mind, is that the book addresses much larger themes:

My concern with the current title, Jimmy’s Adventure on Stage, is that the book’s two main concepts—overcoming bullying, and gaining confidence in light of a speech impediment—will be lost on potential buyers. Consider either changing the title, or adding a subtitle to give the reader a stronger sense of the value this book offers them.

One last note on the current title: I wonder if the phrasing underplays the main challenge of the book—getting Jimmy on stage in the first place. That the book is his “Adventure on Stage” implies that the arc of the book revolves around the play itself. With that said, I understand if you’d prefer to carry “Adventure” throughout the series; just something to consider as you review your options.

So it was again back to the drawing board.  Even though I had grown comfortable with Jimmy’s Adventure on Stage, I had to agree with the editor’s assessment that there are other important themes that should somehow be signaled in the title.  That’s when I began to give more and more thought to the editor’s suggestion to add a subtitle.  The idea of a subtitle was also suggested by Marna in her opening salvo about the original title.

Following the main title, Jimmy’s Adventure on Stage, the subtitle could continue with “A Story about. . .”  But about what?  Certainly, it’s about bullying.  Even more important, it’s about how Jimmy uses “verve” to confront his fears.  There is also a story within the story about elves.  Indeed, I drew on that idea with the original title, Jimmy the Elf.  These thoughts helped me narrow down a list of thematic words to “bullies,” “elves,” and “verve.”

That resulted in the following:  Jimmy’s Adventure on Stage: A Story about Bullies, Elves and Verve.

I shared that with the editor from Jabberwocky, who didn’t like the use of “Elves” in the subtitle, since she thought it might suggest that this is a Christmas book, like our last one.  She also felt that “verve” in the title could be confusing.

So, yet again, it’s back to the drawing board.